The New Blahg

I want to blog more, but...

2007-10-14T22:30:00.000-06:00

I'm so sorry that this blog hasn't been updated in such a long time. It's not that we don't want to post, it's just that there is so much other stuff going on that we completely forget. I have plans to start posting again so give me some encouragement to get it done. Hope you all are doing well!

We're Back For Action!

2007-01-27T13:55:00.000-06:00

Stayed tuned for more!

Saying Goodbye

2005-09-01T19:16:00.000-06:00

(At a train station)
Piggy: Saying goodbye, going away
Seems like goodbye's such a hard thing to say
Kermit: Touching our hands, wondering why
Both: It's time for saying goodbye.

(On a country road with Scooter on bicycle)
Scooter: Saying goodbye, why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good [blogs] we've had
Much more to say, foolish to try
It's time for saying goodbye.

(In the back of a truck with Camilla)
Gonzo:
Don't want to [blog], but we both know
Sometimes its better to go

(On a Greyhound bus)
Rowlf:
Somehow I know, we'll meet again
Not sure quite where and I don't know just when

(On the roadside, hitchhiking)
Floyd: You're in my [blog], so until then
Electric Mayhem: It's time for saying goodbye.

(In a freight train car)
Fozzie:
Somehow I know, we'll meet again
Not sure quite where and I don't know just when
You're in my heart so until then
Wanna smile
Wanna cry
Saying goodbye

All except Kermit & Fozzie:
La la la la, la la la la
It's time for saying goodbye
La la la la, la la la la
La la la la-la la la.

Goodbye for now, Blahg. It was a good 365 days. Maybe I'll see you in two or three months.

August

2005-08-30T19:58:00.000-06:00

I had to post at least something in August so that I wouldn't be missing a month in my archives. Come back September 1 for my "I've been blogging for a year now" anniversary post!

Engagement! part 2

2005-07-20T18:58:00.000-06:00

I'm engaged!

Work

2005-06-16T20:11:00.000-06:00

Work is going much, much better! It's keeping me busy, and I enjoy being productive. More later!

Day One Done

2005-06-06T20:39:00.000-06:00

Day one of work: completed. If I work for 5 days a week, 48 weeks a year, for 40 years, I have 9600 days to go. Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead.

Is it a bad sign if my line of thinking is "I hope I like working in general" rather than "I hope I like working at Company X"? I mean, no summers? No spring break? 9601 days of work?

I guess if Psalm 84:10 is true, "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere," then it will only take about 9.6 days of heaven for me to forget about work all together.

Syllabus Day

2005-06-05T21:31:00.000-06:00

Guess who's back. Back again. Suzie's back. Tell a friend.

Tomorrow, I enter the real world. This day that I've been counting down from since the middle of March. June 6. The day I start my first full-time job.

I was pretty nervous earlier (as in, crying uncontrollably) until I read over my new hire packet and saw the agenda for the orientation tomorrow. All day, the only things I have to do are watch movies about ethics, safety, and diversity and sign up for my benefits. It'll be like the first day of class - syllabus day.

That's nothing to be nervous about. Syllabus day is fun. It's Tuesday that I'm worried about now.

Soon

2005-05-28T00:22:00.000-06:00

I'll start blogging again soon, I promise!

Three Month Declaration

2005-05-12T07:01:00.000-06:00

I come from a cat family. Since I was born, my family has owned at least one cat. You can imagine the surprise then last night when I told my family that I wanted a dog. Now I understand that I am a point in my life in which having a dog is not a good idea. I'm about to rent a apartment, and living in a small space, alone for most of the day is no life for a dog. I'm not ready for a 20-year commitment either. I'm not going to get a dog but I still want one.

When I considered getting a tattoo a few years, my mom told me to wait three months. If I still had the same passion for a tattoo in three months that I did three months before, then maybe it was something I really wanted rather than a passing desire. Three months later, I was happy that I had no tattoo.

I think I'm going to try this same technique for a new dog. If I still want a puppy in three months, then maybe it's something I really do want. Today is Day One.

Based on what happened last night, I don't think this will be the case. My cat Cayla (aka Kato Kaelin, aka Hildalgo) was curled in my bed by my knees. Around 7:00 am, she starts heaving and hacking. I wake up as she vomits on my feet. I clean up the solid pieces but the foot of bed is soaked. I take off my sheets and blankets and try to go back to sleep on the mattress.

I can't sleep now, so here I am at 8:00 am on my first day of summer. I took my last final for school yesterday. I should be sleeping in and yet, I'm cleaning cat-vomit. Do I really want a dog?

Haiku Day

2005-05-07T21:17:00.000-06:00

In honor of Haiku Day (5-7-5):

Graduation Day
Sat in Moody for too long
when can I eat lunch?

The Real Reason Why I Wasn't Active In Club

2005-05-01T20:50:00.000-06:00

The fall semester of my sophomore year in college, I pledged a social club. I loved my club, and I loved the girls in my club but that was the only semester I was active. By the time I was senior, most of my peers didn't even know that I was in a club. I never participated in Sing Song, never went to any Homecoming Teas, never got to be “on the other side of pledging,” and I don't remember the words to my club song.

When people find out that I was in a club, they often ask, “So why aren't you active?” I usually tell them that I pledged in the fall and went to Oxford in the spring, and when I came back, it was not the same. I didn't remember many of the girls' names, and I felt like an outsider. Yeah, that's the truth, but it's not the real reason why I wasn't active.

The real reason is because of a toothbrush.

I remember it well. I was sitting in my 9:30 am general physics class. It was Tuesday of pledge-week. The Friday before was bid night, an all night introduction to pledging. The day before was the first day of many to wear my banana-colored wool skirt, a white-buttoned shirt, and a small yellow pledge pin on my left shoulder. This Tuesday, I sat up straight in my chair in my khaki pants, my yellow shirt, and my roommate's brown shoes and listened intently while my professor explained kinetic energy.

Like bad morning breath, it hit me. I forgot my toothbrush! As part of my pledging activities for the day, I was supposed to carry around a yellow toothbrush and display it to any club members who asked to see it. On the second day of pledging, I forgot my toothbrush!

This may not seem like a big deal but I felt like the worst pledge ever. I was trapped in my physics class without a toothbrush, and there was nothing I could do. Thoughts of leaving class, running across campus to my dorm room, grabbing my toothbrush, and running back to class all under the guise of “going to the bathroom” entered my mind. But I realized I wouldn't make it back in time. Class would be over before I completed my mission. So I thought I could just pick up my backpack and leave. But I didn't want to draw attention to myself. What if some club member saw me? I was already red in the face. I didn't want to tell anyone I forgot The One Thing that I needed to remember that day.

I decided to wait until the end of class to go back to my room. I figured if I walked quickly enough, I would be able to make it in 10 minutes from the science building to my dorm room to Moody where Chapel was held each day. What I didn't count on was the fact that I was wearing my roommate's new leather high-heels for the first time.

As I rapidly made my way to my dorm room, I noticed that the shoes, although cute, were not very comfortable. The hard leather sides were digging into my feet. They didn't do this when I leisurely strolled to class that morning. I didn't have time to think about it though. The journey was taking longer than I thought. I had successfully grabbed my toothbrush from my room, but I had 2 minutes to make it from my room to Moody. Being late to Chapel was not a good thing to do when you're pledging. At least I had my toothbrush with me now.

When the bells that signified Chapel stopped ringing, I started to run. I had less than 30 seconds. My feet were aching but it didn't matter. I had my toothbrush. I hadn't passed by any club members. I had made it; no one would ever know that I forgot my toothbrush on the second day of pledging.

As I stepped onto the floor of the basketball coliseum, I breathed a sigh of relief because I made it on time. I leaned over to catch my breath. That's when I saw the blood.

My roommate's shoes had dug so much into my feet that they had sliced my heels open. The hem of my khaki pants was soaked in bright red blood. I walked over to my pledge mom and told her that I had stepped on some glass, and I wouldn't be able to make it to Chapel. I went into the bathroom and cried.

That's the real reason why I didn't stay active in club. No one (until now) ever knew that I forgot my toothbrush. My error wasn't discovered that day, but the fear of being caught in a mistake stayed with me. The fact that I wasn't active has nothing to do with the club itself. I'm sure that if any of the club members found out I forgot my toothbrush, they would have all laughed about it. But I was a scared, toothbrushless sophomore with hopes of being perfect and faced with my imperfection, I couldn't laugh at myself. The physical scars of pledging have healed but whenever I think about club, I think about sitting in the pasty, white classroom with my face turning bright red as I realize I forgot my toothbrush.

Networks Test

2005-04-30T22:33:00.000-06:00

So this is what I did instead of studying for my ~~Operating Systems test~~ Computer Networks test.*

Let the creativity ensue!

And the not finished part:

Mario Raccoon was so cool. Now, let the studying commence!

*Is it proper etiquette to refer to your own previous blog post?

50 Things

2005-04-19T21:11:00.000-06:00

50 Things about me that you might not know:

I accepted a job.
I start June 6.
It's an hour and a half away from my home.
I hate making decisions.
It's a great job, I think.
I have to move to a new city.
I'm scared out of my mind!
I always imagined that I would live in Fort Worth.
I hate dragging Josh around.
I have to live alone for a while.
I'll be away from Josh for the summer.
I hate making mistakes.
I'm scared about living on my own.
I'm excited about being independent.
I had to take my car to the repair shop.
I'm excited about getting paid.
I have a test tomorrow.

Shoot! I have a test tomorrow! I have to go study. More later.

Suzie Driven Life

2005-04-05T20:50:00.000-06:00

For the past two weeks, I've been trying to make a major life decision about where I will work and live after this semester is over. (I've received two great job offers in completely different cities.) Josh lent me his copy of Rick Warren's A Purpose Driven Life in hopes that it might help me out a little. I read the first chapter in which Mr. Warren states about his bestseller, "This is not a self-help book. It is not about finding the right career, achieving your dreams, or planning your life." Forget that! That doesn't help me at all! Incidentally, my new blog findingpurpose.blogspot.com has no posts in it.

Instead, I have designed my own way to drive life, i.e, how to get a job after college graduation. This way doesn't require a 40-day spiritual journey. It only requires that you take these few steps.

First, when picking a major, do not pick anything involving liberal arts. English? Out. History? Out. Seacrest? Out.

Second, you need to have a decent GPA. Anything above a 3.4 will work. If you are one of those liberal arts types of people, I suggest finding a science-based major that requires the least number of major classes. You can make 'C's in all of them and still maintain a good GPA by making 'A's in your liberal arts electives.

Third, begin to look for a job the semester before you graduate. Be prepared not to find one.

Fourth, decide where you want to work. Once you have narrowed it down to one or two cities, apply for grad school at a big, public university in or near those cities. This big, public university should preferably have the name of a state in its title.

Fifth, graduate with your BS degree.

Six, get accepted into grad school. It doesn't matter what major you decide on. Take as few classes as possible, preferably two. Don't worry about the cost; it'll pay off later. You don't even have to do well in your classes. You can fail them all. Just make sure you are officially a student at the university.

Seven, and most important, on the first day of school, find the university's career center, and register yourself. Don't register yourself as grad student looking for a job once you graduate but as a new student who already has an undergrad degree.

Eight, wait for the career center to throw jobs at you. If it is a big university, chances are companies in the city you want to work will recruit there. You don't have to go looking for them; they will look for you. And since this is your first semester, you won't have a transcript. They won't know that you're making a 30 in one of your classes. No matter what, you'll have the upper hand. You will be competing against stressed out seniors who don't have a degree and who haven't gotten into grad school. But you have.

Nine, take your pick of jobs.

See? It's the Suzie Driven Life in fewer than 10 steps! There are some minor details that you have to take into consideration, such as passing the GRE, interviewing, not being happy with your major, failing out of grad school, and living a meaningless life. But really, in the short run these things don't matter. If in the long run you wish your life had purpose, you can always read Mr. Warren's book.

I take no responsibility for failed attempts when trying the Suzie Driven Life.

Confessions

2005-03-28T21:49:00.001-06:00

It’s time for some confessions that I have been bundling up inside of me for a long time! First of all, we all know that I am a huge nerd. But do you really know how much of a nerd I am?

I really like the movie Titanic. This one is hard for me to admit, especially because I have a friend with aspirations to be a movie critic. I afraid he’ll look down on me forevermore if he reads this. I owned a VHS copy of Titanic but I accidentally threw up on it. I’m planning on buying it again on DVD.

I brush my teeth in the shower. I do this because whenever I brush my teeth I start foaming at the mouth. It’s like having mint-flavored rabies.

I apply “No Bite” nail polish to my pens and pencils so I won’t chew on them during class. For all of you non-nail biters out there, applying “No Bite” to your nails makes them taste like rubbing alcohol mixed with vinegar. It helps you to stop biting them.

I love the Partridge Family. On those long car trips to Abilene, I entertained myself by listening to their greatest hits CD.

I get frustrated with myself when someone asks me what my pet peeves are, and I can't remember any of them.

I still sleep with a teddy bear. Someday I’m going to have to give this up. But it’s not like I cuddle with it or anything…

I love watching the Real World/Road Rules Challenge on MTV.

I get jealous when I read other people’s blogs and they are more interesting or better written then mine. This happens often.

Even though my room can get messy sometimes, I have an extensively labeled and organized filing cabinet. I use it regularly. I also made an extensively labeled and organized filing cabinet for Josh but I don’t think he appreciates the beauty of organization quite like I do.

I laughed so much at my Introduction to Java entry. Programming humor cracks me up!

Palm Sunday or What I Did Three Years Ago, Part 2

2005-03-20T22:50:00.000-06:00

Three years ago on Palm Sunday.
[In case you missed it the first time, this is a new bit where every so often (when I am completely desperate for something to write) I'm going to pull out my journal from 2002 when I studied abroad in Oxford, England and comment on my entries in it.]

Date: March 24, 2002
- Woke up
- Went to St. Aldate's Church
- Lunch at Radcliffe Arms pub with my worship group
- Went to G & D's Ice Cream Parlor
- Did homework
- Eyes hurt, wore glasses
- Took nap
- Led prayer at service
- Rachel spoke about reading the Word of God

My comments:
It's funny how every entry in my diary starts with the words, "Woke up."

In high school, I always enjoyed going to church (mostly because of my friends in the youth group) and was upset when I had to miss it for any reason. That feeling disappeared while I was in college, except for this one semester in Oxford. I loved St. Aldate's. It was an Anglican church and completely different than the Churches of Christ that I am accustomed to. There were noticeable differences at St. Aldate's: women on stage leading prayers and songs, the use of instruments and a band, the relaxed atmosphere of the service (people would drink coffee and eat donuts while the vicar was giving his lesson). I liked going there so much that there were times that I didn't want to travel on the weekends so that I could go to church.

Palm Sunday was definitely memorable at St. Aldate's. Normally, when we would walk to church on Sunday morning (about a 30 minute walk I remember), the other churches that we passed would ring bells every 15 minutes or so. But on Palm Sunday the churches rang their bells without stopping the entire morning. The harsh sounds of clanging bells echoed throughout the city, bouncing off the old buildings and down the narrow streets. During the service at St. Aldate's, the children were given palm leaves and waved them around before laying them down in the aisles for others to walk on. It was an amazing celebration.

I would go back to Oxford just to eat at the Radcliffe Arms again. It was like a Thanksgiving meal every time we ate there - and cheap too!

I also remember my friend Rachel's lesson about reading the Word of God. My Bible class was responsible for leading a service every Sunday night, and it was my group's turn to be in charge. I led the prayer, and I don't remember a thing that I said. Rachel talked about reading the Bible, and I think I remember almost every word that she said. She is one of the most passionate and talented speakers I've heard. And such a Godly woman!

Her lesson was based on these two points.
1. In the beginning God spoke and because of his words, the earth and the heavens and people were created. Through the sound of his voice, things were made.
2. The Bible is the word of God. It's God's words written down.

Rachel said that no matter who you are, a scholar in Biblical text or someone who has never been to Church, there are times that you will read the Bible, and you will feel that it has absolutely nothing to say to you. It's not relevant, it doesn't answer your questions, it doesn't help solve your problems, and it doesn't make sense. What do you do when you turn to the Bible for help and answers and it doesn't give you any?

Rachel said that in those times, maybe, just maybe, you should try reading the Bible out loud. By doing this, you are speaking the words of God. And if when God spoke, things were created, maybe when you speak his words, things will be created too. Maybe this new creation is something on the other side of the world that you will never know about. Or maybe this new creation is something not physical but in your heart. God is waiting for you to speak his words, even if they don't make sense, just so that he can create something new inside of you.

It's been three years, and I still think about what Rachel said. I'm no scholar in Biblical text, and I dont have any doctrine to back me up here. But I'm intrigued by the idea that even when the Bible doesn't make sense to me or when it seems not relevant, something can happen when I read it. I'm OK with the fact that I might not ever see or know about the change. I just have faith that when God's words are spoken, he will create.

Excuses

2005-03-15T21:04:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone! I have three excuses for not writing a "good" entry in a while.

1. I've been busy.
2. Writing a "good" entry takes a long time.
3. I haven't wanted to.

So there you go! In case you are wondering, here are two snapshots of what I have been doing lately.

First Snapshot
For my nephew's 2-year birthday, my family celebrated at McDonald's. He had fun in the play area but it became obvious that he was either too young or too scared to climb up to the top of the twisted plastic tubes and colorful slides. I, being the good aunt that I am, decided to break the McDonald's 12-and-younger-only rule and help him climb to the upper layers of the play area. I took off my shoes (but left on my socks - I didn't want to break too many of the rules) and began pushing my nephew up the slippery pipes. We were having fun but once the other children started gawking at me, a strange adult in their play area, I grabbed my nephew and hustled down a slide. I have since decided the 12-and-younger-only rule is for my benefit, not for the children's.

Second Snapshot
During Spring Break, Josh and I took a small road trip to Oklahoma. We wanted to try our luck gambling at one of the casinos along the Texas-Oklahoma border. With $50 cash in hand, we entered the casino. I'm usually a pretty lucky person. In elementary school, I won a cake every time on the cake-walk at the fall carnival. I won a computer my senior year of high school. But at the casino, I lost my $20 in about an hour, playing only the nickel slots. Josh had won about $10 but lost that and all the rest of his portion too.

We had $10 left out of our $50 spending money and decided to blow it all on the $1.00 machines. We spend $5 of it and faced our last decision: keep going or stop with $5 left. Well, we kept going. $5-4-3-2. We had won nothing. It was our last dollar, we placed our bet, and the credits started rolling. $20-50-100-150-300-600-750-800!! We won $800! On our last dollar! This is something that bloggers would usually exaggerate about so that the story is exciting but it really happened to us! Winning $800 was great but winning it on our last dollar was the best part.

Here's a teaser for my next entry: Suzie stresses out over a big decision! Coming soon to a blahg near you.

Spring Break

2005-03-09T21:37:00.000-06:00

It's been a slow week for my blog but a busy week for me. I've had job interviews, exams, homework, and Dance Dance Revolution keeping me bustling. My last (hopefully) Spring Break starts today so maybe I will write a real entry sometime soon.

My new dance moves:
Up
Up
Up
Left
Right
Down
Left
Down
Up
Up
Up
Right
Left
Up/Down together.

APOD

2005-03-07T18:37:00.000-06:00

A little note - Sunday's (March 6) Astronomy Picture of the Day is really neat. It's a panoramic picture of the view from the top of Mt. Everest. Take a look!

Yeargh!

2005-03-04T16:22:00.000-06:00

Yeaaarrggghhhhh!

Today, I was in my room doing homework on my computer (by "doing homework" I mean "catching up on celebrity gossip"), and I heard this horrible woman's scream coming from my backyard area.

Yeaaaaaarrghhhhhhhhh!

I ran out of my room, looked through the windows into my backyard, and it was empty. But how could that be? Some poor woman out there was having her toenails ripped off slowly, or having golf balls pushed up her nose, or watching Ashlee Simpson perform a cappella, or learning that Katie Holmes and Chris Klein broke up. I needed to rescue her!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaarrrrrrrrrgh!

But then I looked to my left, into my family room. I had accidentally left the television on and tuned to the TLC channel. The screams were from the woman featured on A Baby Story who was in the middle of giving birth.

I turned the TV off and went back into my bedroom, to "do some more homework".

Katie Holmes and Chris Klein, why?! Why?!? Yeearrrgh!

CS 120 - Introduction to Java

2005-03-02T23:26:00.000-06:00

public class JavaCity
{
  public static void main (String args[])
  {
    time = 9:47 am;
    CoffeeDrinker Suzie = new CoffeeDrinker();

    Suzie.setCold();
    Suzie.setTired();

    time = 9:49 am;
    Suzie.setStrangeAndNewFeeling();
    Suzie.wantCoffee();

    time = 10:12 am;
    Suzie.parkCar(parkingLot);

    try
    {
      Suzie.enter(JavaCity);
    }

    catch (if JavaCity.line = too long)
    {
      Suzie.goToClass(ScienceBuilding);
      exitProgram();
    }

    Waitress Cindy = new Waitress();

    Cindy.askSuzieToOrder();
    Suzie.panic(doesn'tKnowWhatToOrder);
    Suzie.orderFirstThingOnMenu(
        WhiteChocolateCafeMocha);

    Drink WCCM = new Drink();
    WCCM.setHot();
  
    time = 10:23 am;
    Suzie.sip();
    Suzie.burn(tongue);

    Suzie.goToClass(ScienceBuilding);

    for (i = 1; i < 11; i++)
    {
      time = time + 1;
      Suzie.sip();
      Suzie.say("Yuck!");
    }

    time = 10:33 am;
    Suzie.sip();
    Suzie.say("Yum");

    time = 10:37 am;
    Suzie.start(shaking);
  
    time = 10:38 am;
    Suzie.start(headache);

    time = 10:42 am;
    WCCM.setWarm();

    time = 10:45;
    WCCM.setCold();
    Suzie.takeLastSip();
  
    WCCM.delete();

    Suzie.setAwake();

    Coffee.setScore(1);
    Suzie.setScore(0);
  }
}

V1K

2005-03-01T22:57:00.000-06:00

Well, you've done it! Thanks to you, my readers, the Daily Blahg has entertained, bored, inspired, annoyed, humored, riled, charmed, or most likely brought about no visible or emotional reaction to 1,000 visitors. So who is the lucky visitor #1,000 (V1K)?

My mom. That's right. My mom. I can tell from my tracking devices. I was going to give the 1,000 visitor some huge prize like my Partridge Family Greatest Hits CD or my exercise ball (the clothing on top is optional). But since it's my mom, and I have no written contest rules stating that family members are not allowed to enter, I've decide as her prize she gets one free week where she is not allowed to remind me to do the dishes. Even if I don't do them, she will get the rest and relaxation she deserves by not reminding me. That sounds like a great prize to me.

In case you are interested, Fig. 1 - This Month's Visits by Day

Equipment

2005-02-27T23:34:00.000-06:00

It's sad that the exercise equipment in my room is now an extra storage place to hang my clothes.

It's even more sad that the exercise equipment consists of a blue, plastic exercise ball and a yoga mat.

I need to work out!

Slogans

2005-02-25T15:26:00.000-06:00

Watch out for these Daily Blahg slogans in the upcoming days. Thanks to The Advertising Slogan Generator.

A Day Without Suzie is Like a Day Without Sunshine.
Fall Into The Suzie.
Don't Be Vague. Ask for Suzie.
You're Never Alone with a Suzie.
A Suzie Works Wonders.
I Bet He Drinks Suzie.
Reach for the Suzie.
Smart. Beautiful. Suzie.
But I'd Rather Have a Bowl of Suzie.
The Better Way to Start the Suzie.
We'll Leave The Suzie On For You.
Nothing Comes Between Me And My Suzie.

All Play and No Work

2005-02-23T23:29:00.000-06:00

Woah! I had 30 visitors to my blog today and not one of them was me.

A couple of posts back I told you that I had a job interview with the company that I would choose to work for, as if I had any choice in the matter. I never told you how it went. The interview went great for the first 20 minutes. The interviewer asked typical questions such as, "Why did you pick computer science?", "What was your favorite class?", and "What do you know about [Company X]?" I represented myself really well, and I was confident and relaxed. However, right after the 10 minute disruption from the three car pile-up 50 feet from his office window, the interview turned ugly. He asked me... technical questions! The next 30 minutes of the interview went something like this:

Interviewer: "Can you define inheritance as it relates to object-oriented programming?"
Suzie: "Ok. Inheritance is when one object... inherits... data and attributes from another object. An object has all of the attributes of its parent as well as having attributes of its own."
Interviewer: "Can you be more specific? How would you utilize inheritance in Java?"

This is when I would ramble on some more, and then the interviewer would circle 2. I was being graded on a scale of 0 to 5 (5 is best).

Interviewer: "How would you write an SQL query to count the number of entries in a database?"
Suzie: "Well, this is something that I don't know off the top of my head but I have studied it in the past. I could look up the answer in a book within two minutes. I mean, come on! I had my database class more than two years ago! Do you expect me to remember every single detail that I learned in class? I didn't even know there were going to be technical questions for this interview. You should have warned me beforehand! I would have studied! I've been tricked! No, don't circle zero! Nooo!"

This is when the interviewer would circle zero. And retrace the circle two or three times.

After the two full pages of technical questions were over, I asked, "When will I find out something?"

Interviewer: "Well, not as soon as you'd like. If it was a stand out interview we would try and hire that person as soon as possible. But for most interviewees, it will be at least a month because we're waiting for a job fair at the end of February." Apparently, I didn't stand out.

I say all of this because today at my school there was a job fair and [Company X] was there along with [Company Y] who I would also like to work for. The representatives from [Company Y] said I was stand out. Maybe that's because I was the only Caucasian female they had seen all day but I'd like to think it was because of my skills. My computer hacking skills, that is.

Things I Have Done

2005-02-22T22:11:00.000-06:00

Things I have done instead of writing a new post:
1. Ate oatmeal
2. Watched Strong Bad emails
3. Played Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
4. Read other blogs
5. Cooked chicken with orange and mustard sauce for dinner
6. Typed notes for class
7. Slept
8. Ate Girl Scout shortbread cookies
9. Watched American Idol
10. Talked with old friend on the telephone
11. Relearned the definition of present participle (-ing verbs)
12. Thought about religion
13. Confirmed truth

New post coming soon!

Frater Sodalis's Sweetkidney Social

2005-02-15T12:07:00.000-06:00

Couple of Announcements
1. Blogger.com changed the comments system so it is now much easier to leave a comment!
2. In spite of the fact that I feel like I'm spying on people by reading their blogs when they don't know about it, I have added some links to my favorite blogs over there on the right. My cover is up.

On to business…

Normally I don't like to do this but my weekend was just too…dramatic…to not tell you about it. First, a little background. Since Josh and I are at different schools right now, the only chance we have to see each other is on weekends. We go back and forth; I visit him, the next weekend he comes and visits me.

The last time I visited him, I got food poisoning, and we both ended up staying awake the whole night - I was sick, and he was holding up the trash can for me. This was the first time anyone has seen me throw up except for my parents. It was a defining moment in our relationship.

This weekend, as I was visiting Josh again, he got me back in a big way for making him stay awake all night. Josh's club at school, Frater Sodalis, had their annual Sweetheart Social Saturday night. I arrived in town Saturday afternoon with my make-up done and my hair curled. The only thing left to do was put on my dress and go. We were already running late, so around 7 o'clock when Josh's lower-right back started to hurt, I tried to solve the problem quickly. He said it was a sharp pain, extreme cramping, and random spasming. After about 10 minutes of intense pain, I put a warm washcloth on the sore area. This was the last straw.

"I need to go to the ER," Josh said. The poor guy, he was obviously in a lot of pain. By the time we arrived at the hospital, he was pale and nauseated and about to pass out. We quickly checked in, and the hospital staff immediately got a wheelchair and wheeled Josh into a room. Within five minutes, his nurse, Dee, gave her unofficial diagnosis: kidney stones.

An x-ray, a CAT scan, 5 hours, and three doses of morphine later, the doctor confirmed Dee's diagnosis. After one final done of pain medication, he was discharged, and we left the hospital.

Even drugged up, Josh can think quick on his feet. We needed to fill a prescription quickly because his pain medicine was wearing off but the 24-hour pharmacy said it would take at least an hour to fill it. As I relayed that information to Josh who was waiting outside in the car, I almost started crying out of frustration but he said I should go back inside the drugstore and ask if they could bump it up. I collected myself and explained what our situation was to the pharmacist. Ten minutes later, I was driving Josh back to his house with the newly filled prescription.

So I stayed awake all night, taking care of him like he did for me. No, I didn't have to hold up any trash cans but I did get to hold his hand while he was lying in the hospital bed. My make-up was smudged and my curls were flat and we didn't go to the Sweetheart Social like we had planned. But we were together, and I'd rather be laughing about giving birth to a kidney stone with him than alone.

Valentine's Message

2005-02-14T00:24:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day to my readers!

Convo of the Week

2005-02-09T14:40:00.000-06:00

Thanks to Austin for letting me copy his idea for the "Convo of the Week" bit, although he doesn't know it yet. This conversation took place on Tuesday, February 8, 2005.

Josh (3:59:52 PM): !
Suzie (3:59:55 PM): hi
Josh (3:59:59 PM): hey
Josh (4:00:27 PM): what do you want for our 7 year 3 month anniversary?
Suzie (4:00:46 PM): lets see...what day is that?
Suzie (4:00:47 PM): is it today?
Suzie (4:00:53 PM): what?
Suzie (4:00:55 PM): that's not right
Josh (4:01:02 PM): the 30th
Suzie (4:01:10 PM): but it's not 7 year 3 month
Josh (4:01:16 PM): how long have we been dating?
Josh (4:01:21 PM): im confused
Josh (4:01:28 PM): are we saying july 8th?
Suzie (4:01:29 PM): since july 8, 1998
Josh (4:01:36 PM): so it is our anniversary!
Suzie (4:01:45 PM): or since November 30, 2003? or 2004?
Josh (4:01:53 PM): july
Suzie (4:01:58 PM): Ok, July 1998
Suzie (4:02:11 PM): so its 6 years and
Josh (4:02:18 PM): so 6years 7month anniversary!
Suzie (4:02:20 PM): 7 months
Josh (4:02:25 PM): HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Josh (4:02:26 PM): heh
Suzie (4:02:28 PM): Hehe, thanks
Suzie (4:03:50 PM): if we decide our anniversary is november... is it 2003 or 2004?
Josh (4:04:00 PM): 2003
Josh (4:04:04 PM): or 2002?
Josh (4:04:12 PM): 04 was just like 5 months ago
Josh (4:04:23 PM): senior year was 03
Suzie (4:04:24 PM): i guess 03, our first senior year
Josh (4:04:27 PM): our junior year was 02
Suzie (4:04:27 PM): ok
Suzie (4:04:29 PM): wait
Suzie (4:04:36 PM): junior year?
Suzie (4:04:37 PM): no
Suzie (4:04:39 PM): Senior year
Josh (4:04:39 PM): was it junior or senior?
Josh (4:04:43 PM): yeah
Suzie (4:04:43 PM): senior
Josh (4:04:45 PM): yea
Suzie (4:05:04 PM): can you believe its been that long?
Suzie (4:05:13 PM): our second relationship has been longer than some people's first
Josh (4:05:15 PM): can you believe how in love i am?!?!
Suzie (4:05:41 PM): hehe, I believe it but I still like hearing it!

...The New...

2005-02-08T19:27:00.000-06:00

Wednesday is the new Friday.
Firefox is the new Internet Explorer.
Typing notes daily is the new cramming for tests.
Sonic Mint Blasts are the new Ocean Water.
Parent’s houses are the new University Park.
C# is the new Java.
Marshmallow Mateys is the new Lucky Charms.
Blogs are the new journal.
Lemony Snicket is the new Harry Potter.
Three-ring binders are the new spiral notebooks.
Super Nanny is the new Trading Spaces.
Bunny Tracks is the new Cookies ‘N Cream.
Yourself Fitness is the new personal gym.
Fort Worth is the new Abilene.
Gmail is the new hotmail.
Crazy profs that don't know my name are the new caring professors.

What's new with you?

Three Years Ago Today

2005-02-01T23:44:00.000-06:00

I'm starting a new bit today, titled "What I Did Three Years Ago Today." Every so often (when I am completely desperate for something to write) I'm going to pull out my diary from 2002. Well, it's not so much of a diary as a log of the things I did during the day. But don't worry! It's interesting because I was studying abroad in Oxford, England during this time. Let's begin.

Date: Friday, February 1, 2002
- Woke up late (missed the train to London with some friends)
- Read
- Ate oatmeal
- Talked to Mom on the Internet
- Went to London at 5 o'clock with other friends
- Bus a lot cheaper than train
- Walked without a map
- Went and saw Chicago (great, lots of dancing, fake American accents)
- Went to Texas embassy (saw ACU flag, ate at the Tex-Mex restaurant, yum)
- Got on bus at Trafalgar Square
- John Terrace!

My comments:
I remember this day! This was my second trip to London, and we were so proud of ourselves for being about to walk around (the tourist areas at least) without a map. Looking back, I don't think that Chicago was great. All I remember about it is the fake American accents. I had never heard a bad, fake American accent before.

I also remember eating at the Texas Embassy. We sat in a corner booth with cowboy hats and lassos fastened to the walls around us. The food itself wasn't very good: bland, stale, dry. But the food was familiar, and we were in a country that after two weeks was still entirely unfamiliar. I think that's why I wrote "yum." John Terrace? That was something...mispronounced? misinterpreted? I remember laughing about it then but I don't know why now.

In five years from now, when I ask myself, "What did I eat on February 1, 2002?" I'll know the answer. Oatmeal and Tex-Mex.

Edit: I take back what I said. Just because I was in Oxford does not make this post interesting!

Scene From an Office

2005-01-27T22:07:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow's the big day! I have a job interview! I got a call Wednesday about a job opening at the company that has always been my first-choice company to work with. I hear that some people, athletes perhaps, try to visualize themselves being successful at upcoming events. Somehow this will make them perform better when the actual time comes. I also hear that people can get dooced from their job because of what they write on their blog. Therefore, this may be the only reference to my employment that you will ever read. See? I've already started visualizing success at the interview.

Scene From an Office
Date: 1-28-05 (aka the future, aka upcoming event)
Time: 10:07 am
Location: Office building

(Suzie, sitting, wearing a brown suit, hands folded in her lap, waits patiently for interviewer to begin the interrogation. Interviewer, standing, hands behind back, not facing Suzie, staring out window on back wall of office, takes no notice that interviewee is waiting patiently.)

Suzie: "Ahem."
Interviewer: "Hello there."

(Awkward pause.)

Suzie: "It's nice to meet you, Mr. ..."
Interviewer: "Olaf."
Suzie: "Mr. Olaf."

(Awkward pause.)

Interviewer: "Shall we begin?"

Suzie: "Ok."

Interviewer: "Tell me, Sarah..."
Suzie: "Suzie."
Interviewer: "Whatever. I see that you graduated from Abilene Christian University. I have never heard of this school before."

Suzie (to herself): "Was that a question? Am I supposed to say something?"
Suzie (outloud): "Yes, I did. ACU is a small, private school with about 5,000 students. It focuses on undergraduate education. I graduated in December with a B.S. in Computer Science."

Interviewer: "Whatever. It also says here on your resume under languages that you know Java and C++. Will you please say something in Java* for me?"

Suzie (to herself): "What? Say something in Java?"
Suzie (outloud): "Java is actually a computer language that you program in, not a spoken language."

(Awkward pause.)

(Crickets chirp.)

Interviewer: "Well, that seems to be all the questions that I have. Goodbye, Stephanie."
Suzie: "Suzie. Thank you for your time."

This job is no match for me. And if anyone in the future ever reads this, please do not fire me! Assuming I get the job that is. Who knows.

Josh, feel better!!

* All credit to James for the Java joke

First Day of School

2005-01-19T22:20:00.000-06:00

I survived my first day of graduate school! Thoughts about today:

1. Starting a new school can be lonely. I didn't see one familiar face all day until my parents came home.

2. Big surprise: my classes are about 40% women, 60% men. I am not alone in that aspect. However, the ethnic makeup of my classes is about 91% Indian, 6% Caucasian, and 3% other. The 6% Caucasian consists of me and some white, scrawny dude with baggy pants and smudged eyeglasses.

3. Since today was the first day, my professors gave an overview of the class and went through the syllabus. As they talked about bomb threats (you were right, Kim), the Americans with Disabilities Act, academic integrity, and other subjects the university makes them mention, I began to look around the classroom. In my one undergrad class, most of the students were sleeping. At ACU, we would at least wait until the second week to start sleeping, not the first day.

But in my two grad classes, the students were diligently taking notes about what exit to use in case of an emergency. Not only were they fiercely scribbling down everything the professor said, they were doing it in pen! I haven't used a pen to take notes since my sixth grade teacher said, "No one is perfect; that's why we use pencils in this classroom." Since I'm in grad school now, rather than grade school, am I required to use a pen too? Does the missing 'e' at the end of that word really mean that I'm perfect?

4. Remind me to never say again, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" to the white, scrawny dude sitting a few seats down from me because he'll think I'm hitting on him.

5. ACU does not have a parking problem. UTA does.

6. Concerning the actual computer science subject matter, what I lack in experience, passion, talent, skill, and intelligence, I plan to make up with organization. That's why I went to Eckerds, err, CVS tonight and bought two new 3-ring binders and dividers. You can take the 'e' out of grade school, but you'll never take the sixth grade organizational skills outta me.

Nepalese Eagle

2005-01-13T23:23:00.000-06:00

It's done! I am an official graduate student. I've registered for 10 hours, all of which are on Mondays and Wednesdays. If anyone has any ideas on how I can fill up my time the rest of the week, please let me know.

While I was waiting for my advising appointment today, I met another new grad student who was sitting next to me. Typically, CS professors are late to everything, and today my advisor was no exception so Proveem...Provim...Pruvam... well, I couldn't understand his name but this guy from Nepal and I chatted for about 20 minutes.

"P" was nice and interesting to talk to. He said he was happy to talk to me because not only am I an American, I am also female. I guess the elusive cross-gender communication for CS majors transcends nationality. It doesn't matter where you live: male CS majors don't often talk to females.

When "P" mentioned he had done some shopping earlier and had never seen stores so big, I asked if he went to The Parks in Arlington Mall. He said, "No, Wal-mart." I then proceeded to tell him about how big The Parks is and how many stores are there and how he should definitely go there when he has a chance. I could have gone on about the food court, traffic, and parking but I stopped myself when his eyes started glazing over.

I could almost see the stereotypical American girl mold being formed about me in his head until he showed me a picture of him and his two sisters back in Nepal and, judging by the girls' clothes, they could have been spokespersons for the American Eagle (or is it Nepalese Eagle?). I realized his eyes probably glazed over not because he had a low tolerance for shopping but because he had to listen to his sisters talk about shopping all the time and now me as well. I guess the elusive cross-gender shopping transcends nationality. It doesn't matter where you live: females like to shop.

Engagement!

2005-01-07T23:53:00.000-06:00

Haha, I fooled you. You thought I was going to make the announcement on my blog that I'm engaged. Well, you're wrong!

Why is it that after every major holiday, and even the minor ones, I get a spike in the number of people who ask me if I am engaged yet?

Figure 1. Typical December 26 IM Conversation
CuriousFriend (08:32:56 PM): so are you engaged yet
Suzie (08:33:17 PM): Umm, hi! No, not yet
CuriousFriend (08:33:49 PM): oh ok just checking
Suzie (08:34:02 PM): Don't worry! I'll let you know when it happens
Suzie (08:34:33 PM): So, how was your Christmas?
Suzie (08:36:29 PM): You there?
CuriousFriend signed off at 08:37:51 PM.

See what I go though? There's no greeting. There's no "hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 how r u???? i miss you!!!!!!!!!1". There nothing.

It's not only IM. When I see friends in person, first thing they do is grab my hand. Not for a handshake. They look and see if I have a ring on. Come on! At least try and be a little sneaky about it.

Since my birthday is coming up, as well as Inauguration Day, Groundhog Day, Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday, Lincoln's Birthday, and Valentine's Day, I beg you, please, don't ask me if I got engaged. I know it was a holiday and a "perfect opportunity" but I will let you know. I will be shouting it off the highest mountain, running through the fields, scaling city walls, kissing honey lips...umm...well, I will let you know when it happens. I promise.

And lastly, if you can't stop yourself from asking me or Josh this question, a good time to bring it up would be at least several months after he gets a job. Trust me.

Winter Break Update

2004-12-22T22:45:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone! I know, it's been a while since I have written. Again, I'm sorry. Lots of things have happened since my last post.

1. Graduation
Yay! I am an official college graduate. On all of those interview questions that ask, "What is the highest level of education completed?" I can now put "Bachelor's Degree" instead of "High School or equivalent." I don't feel different though. It feels like just another winter break. When school starts up again in January I'm sure it will sink in.

2. Living at home
I have moved home to Fort Worth for good now. I had to decide between living with my parents or living with my brother. Right now I'm at my parents house but I may move in with my brother in January sometime. We'll see how things go.

3. Unemployment
I have no job. "But Suzie, you don't need a job. You're going to grad school." Yes, I know. But I would prefer to get a full-time job and take one or two classes a semester. Anyone have any contacts at someplace in Dallas-Fort Worth where I can do software engineering?

4. Christmas
I'm done shopping. I went over my budget. I'm OK with that only because I was buying gifts for other people, not myself.

5. Dial-up
Are my parents the only people who still use dial-up? I am so spoiled by the fast ACU internet!

5. Weather
It's cold! And snowing!

6. Harry Potter
July 16th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a good Christmas present!

It's good to be home. And in case I don't write again before Saturday, may your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white!

Swedish printers

2004-12-10T01:03:00.000-06:00

I know I'm a computer science major. I can dish out theory and algorithms like crazy. But I don't know a thing about computers. I can't solve your computers problems. I can't even solve my own.

Example #1: I have shut down my computer three times this semester. This is not because I think computers run better without being turned on and off repeatedly. This is because I have an Ethernet card that won't allow the computer to boot up when it is in. So if the computer is off and I need to turn it on, I have to take off the case, push the power button to turn it on, wait 20 seconds, install the card very carefully so as to not touch anything else inside the computer, and then put the case back on. I've been doing this since my sophomore year. Yes, that's right. I, computer science major, install hardware while the power is on.

Example #2: I installed my printer about 2 years ago. When the "Found New Hardware" wizard came up and asked me what language I would like to use, I accidentally hit Swedish instead of English. For 2 years, my printer has been in Swedish. Yes, I have uninstalled it and reinstalled it. Yes, I have deleted the drivers and reinstalled them. But it's still in Swedish!

I like to make the best out of a bad situation so I have tried to learn some Swedish off of the printing menus. "Utkast" means low quality, and "hog" mean high quality. "For gransking" is draft quality, I think. I'm not really sure about that one yet. Occasionally, I will get a error message that says, "Lag blackniva i svart patron." I know its an error message because the yellow triangle with an exclamation point accompanies it. The message gives me two options: "Bestalla tillbehor" or "Fortsatt."

I always pick "Fortsatt."

Deadlock Program - edited

2004-12-02T22:25:00.000-06:00

1:13pm
Hey! So I am in the computer lab programming, and I thought I would give you all a glimpse into my thoughts while I'm writing a program. I'll try and post often. Unless I lose track of time. Or strangle myself with the mouse cord. Just kidding.

I started this program about a month ago when it was assigned in class. Back then, I had a plan. Now, I don't remember the plan; I don't even remember what this program should do.

Files made:
driver.java
process.java
resource.java
check.java

1:47pm
It's going well right now. I have my driver finished I think. It creates three Resources (a, b, and c) and three Processes (p1, p2, and p3) and runs the threads.

This program is easy so far!

2:01pm
I'm stuck for the first time today. It's not so easy anymore.

2:15pm
Eeek! My professor who assigned this program just walked in. He is teaching another class. Don't look at my screen! Don't look at my screen! Programming with a professor looking at your screen is like doing algebra on the chalk board. You revert back to a 7th grade level.

I just explained to a classmate the concept of a scope of a variable. I do deserve to graduate! I do! I do!

Files made:
driver.java
Resource.java
Process.java
Check.java
Monitor.java

3:20pm
Good news! The professor left the room. I can work in peace again. No updates to the program because I haven't typed a single thing in 15 minutes. I was looking in the text book to see how exactly to detect deadlock. It wasn't helpful.

Files made:
driver.java
Resource.java
Process.java
Check.java - still completely empty

Files deleted:
monitor.java

3:32pm
Still haven't typed anything. I took a break. Called my boyfriend. Ate a peanut butter and honey sandwich.

Deadlock: a process or thread is in a state of deadlock if it is waiting for a particular event that will never occur

4:01pm
The program compiles but I get an unreachable statement. My eyes are getting blurry. Is it my contacts or have I been starting at the screen for too long?

I'm also starting to smell something that reminds me of a soldering iron. The electronics lab is on the floor right above me. Maybe that's it. Wait...if someone is up there soldering, that means the lab is in session. The lab that I am registered for. The lab that starts at 3:00. The lab that I should be in right now instead of downstairs programming. Shoot!

In my defense, I wasn't planning on going to the lab today because my T.A. has left the country; he flew out on Monday for Bosnia for a mission trip or something. I'll make it up this weekend I guess.

4:15pm
I hate learning new things at the end of the year, which could have helped me at the beginning of the year.

I also hate learning new things at the end of my college career, which could have helped me since my freshmen year.

On the command line, you can put an "&" to open a window and directly return to the command line, instead of opening the window and then closing the window to return to the command line. That "&" saves me about .5 sec everytime I compile a program.

If I compile a program on average 50 times, and I do 10 programs a semester, and I've been here 9 semesters....that's....*can't do math in head*....2250 seconds? That's 37 minutes. 37 minutes of my life wasted closing a window to return to the command line.

4:41pm
I don't think I've made any progress in the last 45 minutes. I don't smell solder anymore though. Maybe the other students in my electronics lab are giving up too. No. I can't give up now. I will get this done.

Files made:
driver.java
Resource.java
Process.java
Check.java - still completely empty

Files deleted:
monitor.java

Files undeleted:
monitor.java

4:56pm
Bad news. Really bad. Bad = very yes. One of my classmates, working on the same program that I am, asked the professor a question about it. Unfortunately, the prof revealed that our whole algorithm is incorrect. The way the prof suggested to do it is much easier than what we're doing. But this means that work I have done for the past 3.75 hours was a waste of time.

Sigh. Anybody got a mouse cord?

I think I'm done for the day.

[edit - to make this more clear, I moved the entries to one post. Sorry if I deleted your comment in the process!]

Returns Only

2004-11-29T23:55:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone! Thanks for the comments! Based on your answers to what I will do after I graduate, I have decided to become a zookeeper.

Some thoughts: Thanksgiving was great. Got to see a lot of family, ate a lot of pumpkin pie, played games, watched movies, did no homework whatsoever.

Two weeks until graduation! I fear this blog will turn into "thoughts about my last" - as in, "This was my last Thanksgiving break as an undergraduate," or "I had my last trip to Chicken Express tonight," and "Tomorrow will be my last day of Chapel on a Tuesday."

Here is my Christmas Wish List but since I feel really greedy putting it on here I'm changing it into a small font. Maybe that will make me feel better.

CDs
The Beatles – (In order of preference) Please Please Me, With the Beatles, A Hard Days Night, Beatles for Sale, Help
Kidd Kraddick Best of the Morning show
Weezer - Weezer
Toadies – Rubberneck
Radiohead – OK Computer

DVDs
Homestar Runner DVD (Yes, I’m a nerd, I think we all know that by now)
Love Actually
Gone With the Wind
Sex and the City
Mean Girls
The Muppets Take Manhattan
Pee Wee Herman’s Playhouse
Seinfield

Books
Lemony Snicket books 4-11
Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson by Louise Rennison (and the other books in the series)
Any “Classics”

Other
Good map of the Metroplex
Makeup brushes
Venus razor blades refills (They're too expensive for me to justify buying them on my own)
Renew Wired Magazine subscription
Jewelry (Such as a monogrammed ring)
Sewing machine
Peace on earth
Pay off my credit card debt

Be prepared for my list of the best movie quotes sometime this week. The AFI has nothing on me.

Admission Decision

2004-11-12T12:52:00.000-06:00

Sorry I haven't written in such a long time! I have no excuse. I haven't been busy. Schoolwork is not piling up. I'm just lazy and haven't felt like writing. I'll try and write more frequently.

I got an email today:

"CONGRATULATIONS! Your application for admission to the Graduate School of the University of Texas at Arlington has been approved. Your acceptance letter and admission packet are being sent to you. Again, CONGRATULATIONS!"

Alright! So now when someone asks me what I am doing after graduation, at least I have an answer. I'm happy that I have this opportunity but I still don't know if going to grad school is what I really want to do. I don't think I'll figure out my true career until I'm about 30 years old, and by then it will be too late to do anything about it. Oh well, at least I'll be doing something after I graduate instead of watching Dr. Phil.

Just to remind you, in my last entry, I asked for you to leave a comment about books that you would like to read. The only comment I received was, "I dont like reading..."

Let me try this comment thing again then. Instead of open answered, here is a multiple choice question. Your comment can consist of not even a sentence, just one character. Can it get easier then that?

What do you think I should do after I graduate?
a. Go to grad school starting in the spring at UTA
b. Get a "meaningless job" just to save up money in the spring and go to grad school starting in the fall
c. Get a "real job" programming
d. Watch Dr. Phil all day
e. Live off parents while writing a book
f. Other (Please specify)

Books to Read

2004-11-01T23:47:00.000-06:00

Current list of books I want to read:
1. The Lemony Snicket Series (Need to read the first three before the movie comes out December 17)

2. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck (Skipped over this one in my American Novel class, still want to read it)

3. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (Should have read this by now)

4. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

5. Lord of the Flies by William Gerald Golding

6. Zulieka Dobson by Max Beerbohm (Heard about this while studying abroad in Oxford)

7. Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson by Louise Rennison (British children's literature)

8. Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin

9. The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky (I don't know if I'll ever get to this)

10. Dune by Frank Herbert (or this one)

11. Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence (I don't even know what this is about)

Any suggestions? What is the next book you want to read? Leave a comment!

OS Test

2004-10-26T21:46:00.000-06:00

So this is what I did instead of studying for my Operating Systems test.

Let the creativity ensue!

It's my name written from photos of objects in my room, in case you can't tell.*

And since Halloween is coming up, I thought you'd enjoy this flashback from 1988.

My brother and I were so cool. Now, let the studying commence!

* Unfortunately, I'm not that creative. I got the idea off of someone else's blog.

Scenes From a Square

2004-10-25T00:38:00.000-06:00

Date: March 2, 2002
Time: Around 11:30am, Roman Standard Time
Location: St. Peter’s Square, Vatican City, Italy

(Suzie is about to pull open a large, red door. Her traveling buddies behind her are hungry and tired after making their way through the crowded Vatican Museum. Suzie is without her trusted Rick Steve’s Italy Through the Backdoor guidebook.)

Suzie: “Hey guys, this looks like something important.”

Group of friends, together:
“It’s just a door, probably to a storage closet or something.”
“Look! A pizza vendor!”
“If we go anyplace else, we won’t have time for the Colosseum”
“My feet hurt. No more tourist attractions.”

(Suzie reluctantly releases the doorknob. She glances back at the door one last time. She walks off with her friends to get some cheap, Italian pizza.)

If I listed out the five biggest regrets of my life so far, March 2, 2002 would be near the top of the list. This was the day that I had my hand on the door to the most spectacular cathedral in the world, St. Peter’s, and I didn’t go in. Call it ignorance, stupidity, bad luck, it doesn’t matter. Why didn’t I open that door?

Date: October 19, 2004
Time: 8:30pm
Location: Parking lot by Suzie’s apartment

(Suzie is about to get out of a crowded car.)

Driver: “Are you sure you can’t go to the movie with us?”
Suzie: “Yeah, my test is tomorrow. I really have to study.”
(Suzie pulls up on the door handle to the car. The door opens a crack.)

Group of friends in back seat, together:
“No! Don’t open the door!”
“Yeah, come with us.”
“You don’t really need to study for the test.”
“The movie should be good.”

Suzie: “Sorry guys.”
(Suzie reluctantly pushes open the car door. She glances back at her friends one last time.)

Person #1 in backseat (joking): “You’re such a nerd, Suzie!”
Person #2 in backseat (laughing): “Yeah, L7 looooser.”
(Person #2 holds up fingers to forehead in the shape of a square.)

Suzie: “Whatever!”
(Suzie walks to her apartment and wishes she said something better than “whatever”.)

I guess it doesn’t really matter which doors I've opened and which I've chosen to leave shut. There are so many opportunities placed in front of me each day that the good and bad decisions cancel each other out. If I lived my life regretting the doors I didn’t open, I would never give myself credit for the ones I left shut. Yeah, I made a huge mistake by not going into St. Peter’s Cathedral. But I’ve made a lot of good decisions in my life too. And I did well on my test.

I'm Calling It

2004-10-21T10:20:00.000-06:00

I'm not much of a sport enthusiast but here it goes: Red Sox vs. Astros. Astros will win in game 7. The Curse of the Bambino will not be broken.

I'm not much of a political enthusiast either but here it goes: Kerry vs. Bush. Bush will win in game 7. The Curse of the Heinz Ketchup will not be broken.

Watership Down

2004-10-20T12:45:00.000-06:00

"We take daylight for granted. But moonlight is another matter. It is inconsistent. The full moon wanes and returns again. Clouds may obscure it to the extent to which they cannot obscure daylight. Water is necessary to us, but a waterfall is not. Where it is to be found it is something extra, a beautiful ornament. We need daylight and to that extent it is utilitarian, but moonlight we do not need. When it comes, it serves no necessity. It transforms." Richard Adams - Watership Down

Why do I like this passage? Maybe because moonlight gives us a new way of looking at things. When we picture something in our head, we naturally picture it in daylight. It becomes impossible to separate the object from the light shining upon it.

When moonlight shines on an object, the moonlight does not completely reveal what the object is, as daylight does. The parts that are not exposed by the moonlight are filled in with our imagination. Moonlight changes the object. It puts into shadow the known and beautifully highlights the unknown. As the moon waxes and wanes, different parts are emphasized. Moonlight doesn’t just give us a new way of looking at things, it gives us new things altogether. We don’t need any of these new objects. They exist for our pleasure, like a waterfall.

On a side note, you should read Watership Down. It’s like Lord of the Rings but with rabbits instead of hobbits. The rabbits go on an epic journey to find the one home to rule them all.

Life After SA

2004-10-19T12:09:00.000-06:00

Last year, my senior year, I was chosen to be the Executive Secretary of the Abilene Christian University Students’ Association. It was the pinnacle of my college career. I was on top of my game. That job was made for me. Now, I understand that you might think that student governments do nothing more than throw paltry pizza parties, heckle the faculty due to their inadequate attendance policies, and complain about the miserable meal plans on campus. But no, my friends. The Students’ Association has a budget of around $200,000 a year. That’s no measly money! Ah, yes, now your ears perk up. $200k placed in the hands of 4 student executive officers and 30 student senators.

As secretary, I was “the face of SA.” Have a problem? Come to me, and I’ll direct you where to go for assistance. Have a suggestion? I’ll help you develop it into action. Have dry lips? I’ll offer you some lip balm. Need a scantron? Here, have this extra one that was in my desk. I was the Super Secretary, college student extraordinaire. Mentor to students, friend to administration, liaison to faculty. When people stepped into the SA office, they were in a safe, sheltered place greeted and comforted by me. As the ACU cliché goes, I was bleeding purple and white.

Alas, my term is over. I walk around campus knowing I once had a direct line to President Money, and now, should I ever have a reason to call, I will only be able to reach a student worker in his office. My fame, my power, my authority. Gone, gone, gone.

But there is life after SA. I still mentor students. Although, instead of helping them develop leadership abilities, I advise them on what movies to see over the weekend. I still am a friend to administration. Well, rather to one administrator, Ruby, who works in the CS department office. And I still am a liaison to faculty but only to the professors whose classes I am currently enrolled in. Instead of spending 30 hours a week cooped up in a windowless office in the basement of the Campus Center, I have time to read and hang out with friends. And I know when it rains. I still am college student extraordinaire, just on a much smaller scale.

“Didn’t you use to be the secretary of SA?” someone recently asked me.

“Yes, but I’ve moved onto bigger and better things.” Things that include taking naps, and watching movies, and waiting for a reason to call Dr. Money.

The GRE

2004-10-12T10:03:00.000-06:00

The Graduate Record Examination (GRE) is like the SAT for college students. If you want to get into grad school, you have to take this test. There are three parts, verbal and quantitative (max score of 800) and writing (max score of 6). There is one additional section, either verbal or quantitative that is used only for research purposes and will not be counted towards your score. However, you do not know which section it is.

UTA, the school that I am applying to, requires at least a 400 on the verbal and a 750 on the quantitative, although they will still consider anything about a 700. The test is given on a computer so your verbal and quantitative results are displayed immediately after the test is completed. The writing section is scored by hand, and the results are mailed to you along with the official scores 2-3 weeks later.

This test can make or break someone's college career. Less than 58 questions determine whether you have what it takes to succeed in grad school or not. Most students spend an entire semester studying for the test. ACU offers a class that meets 3 hours a week for three months to prepare for it. I studied for 10 hours, 2 hours of those included registering for the test online, learning the basic directions for the test, and finding out whether or not I could use a calculator.

The first section was writing. I had not practiced writing at all, nor had I even read the directions until the test began. I think I did OK but it doesn't matter because my score is not part of the admission criteria. Next, I began the verbal section. It contained analogies, antonyms, sentence completions, and reading comprehension. I didn't study for it because I assumed I would make better than a 400. Then I began the quantitative section.

I knew the answer to the first question. I clicked the icon to confirm my answer. The second question appeared. Now, I remember this question very clearly. However, I wrote that entire paragraph in cursive about how I would not give away any test questions so I am unable to discuss the awfulness that I saw. I guessed an answer. I saw the third question. No idea. Fourth question. Oh, the horror. I had no idea how to answer any of the questions. After the 10th question or so, I decided that this must be the section given for research only. These questions were too hard. They could not possibly be testing me on this. I finished the 28 questions and laid my head down on the desk for the entire 60 second break.

Then, the final section of the test appeared on the screen. It was English! For those of you who don't recognize the significance of this, this means that one of the English sections I had taken was for research, and the math section counted! It was for real! Those were real questions that I was being graded on!

I made it through the final section and this time laid my head in my hands as my score was being calculated. It asked me three times if I wanted to see my scores. I considered not viewing them, just walking away and pretending that these past three hours never happened. But I clicked yes, and a window opened on the screen.

Verbal 620
Quantitative 740

"Did I read that correctly? 740? It doesn't make sense. Maybe that was my verbal score. No? Are they sure?" I was too confused to celebrate. If someone views the tape of me taking the test, the last five minutes would be me staring dumbstruck at the screen.

It still doesn't make any sense. I won't believe it until I receive my official score in the mail in 2-3 weeks. Either I correctly guessed on 20 out of the 28 math questions or the questions were so hard that no one taking the test got them right. Either way, it was luck.

My Lucky Day

2004-10-11T22:30:00.000-06:00

Some points about this blog:
1. Suzie Creamcheese comes from a song by Frank Zappa. "Suzie Creamcheese, oh baby, now what's got into ya?"

2. Even though it is called the Daily Blahg, I will not be updating daily. It was just easier to type in then WheneverIThinkofSomethingCleverBlahg.blogspot.com or There'sNotAChanceIWillBeAbleToUpdateDailyBlahg.blogspot.com.

3. Thanks Teresa for being the first blogger that I know of to link to my blog!

4. I fixed the comment function! Please, leave a comment! If you don't want to register, you can leave an anonymous comment but don't forget to sign your name.

On to today's entry. I think Friday, October 8 was my lucky day.

Evidence #1 – My professor cancelled my 9am class, American Novel. Instead of having class, we picked up a take home exam. But rather than being due on Monday as the syllabus stated, my professor changed the due date to this Friday, giving us five extra days to complete the exam.

Evidence #2 – I was scheduled to take the GRE at 11am causing me to miss my 10am class and my 2pm class. But, another professor cancelled my 2pm class as well! Since there are only two students in my 10am class, my professor allowed us to have a "program from home" day so I wouldn't rack up another absence.

Evidence #3 – The GRE. I made a 740 on the math section! This could not have been anything but luck. (I'll have an update about this soon.)

Evidence #4 – My boyfriend's grub was Friday night. For those of you who don't know, a "grub" is a costume party type thing for members and pledges of a social club. Josh is in "Frater Sodalis," and his "grub" is called "Hay Lay," and the "Brothers," "brats," and their "ladies" dress up as "cowboys" and sometimes "truckers."

On Wednesday, I made cookies for the brats but they had their skip night so they didn't get to eat them. Josh made them write a thank you card for me, and instead of giving it to me privately, the brats singled me out in front of all of the guests a the end of their program to thank me for the uneaten cookies. I consider this lucky because many girls make cookies for them, and yet I was the only one who was singled out.

Evidence #5 – After Hay Lay, Josh and I went bowling with a group of friends at the White Wood Lanes, affectionately dubbed the White Trash Lanes. I made my highest bowling score ever. 91! Yeah, I know, I didn't even break 100. But to make anything above a 60 was a big achievement for me. I was more excited for my 91 than for my 740 on the GRE.

When I was putting my tennis shoes back on at the bowling alley, I reflected on my day. So many good things had happened, the take-home test, class being cancelled, my GRE score, Hay Lay.

"Today must be my lucky day!" I said to Josh. "Let’s go do something else so I don't waste any minute of it." I looked at my watch. It was 12:14am. I realized it was my lucky day 14 minutes too late. "Why did I take that nap between the GRE and Hay Lay?" I thought to myself.

Next time I have a lucky day, I plan on realizing it when I wake up in the morning so I won't miss out on anything good that could happen to me. How will I know it's my lucky day? A lucky guess, I suppose.

Graduation and Beyond

2004-10-05T11:23:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I've last written. Thankfully, my readership consists of only 7 people so I'm not disappointing too many fans. Just to let you know, I have spent my time trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life. And taking naps.

I have two months of school left. Only two months. Possibly for the rest of my life. What will I do next? My routine for the past 18 and a half years has been wake up, go to school, come home. Now that routine has to change to wake up, unknown, come home. What will I fill that unknown time with? I have narrowed it down to three options: 1. Get a job, 2. Go to grad school, 3. Watch Dr. Phil everyday to learn how to analyze the lives of people around me.

Last night, I started to work on option #2. I began my research by looking at the University of Texas at Arlington Graduate School of Computer Science and Engineering website. It looked pretty good. I can be a full time student and graduate in 2 years with a Masters. They have a software engineering track too.

I need to apply by October 22 in order to be considered for the spring semester. October 22! Today is October 5! I have two weeks to complete the application, pay my remaining tuition bill so that registrar's office will send a transcript, request that the registrar's office send two copies of my transcript to UTA, sign up for the GRE, learn what is tested on the GRE, review all material from every course taken at college to study for GRE, re-request that my transcript by sent since the registrar's office lost the first request, do more studying, take the GRE, and still allow 10-15 days for the test scores to be processed and sent to UTA. Why didn’t I do this in September??

Not only that, there is an essay question on the application to the school:
Describe in no more than 200 words your main academic interests, strengths and limitations at this time; explain why you wish to study for this degree in this particular field, and why you have chosen the University of Texas at Arlington; specify what you hope to accomplish during your program here.

This is my first draft for the essay:

My main academic interest is software engineering. I enjoy writing programs and making them as clean and tidy as possible. My other interest is to get through classes doing as little work as possible. If I could study as much as I did in high school, that would be great.

I have many strengths in the field of computer science. First, my undergraduate degree focused on theory of computer science rather than application. I can talk about programming for hours without having any idea of how to apply this knowledge in real life. Perfect for grad school! Furthermore, I am a nice person. What a great strength to possess in this mad, mad, mad, mad world.

One of my weaknesses, which I will conveniently turn into a strength, is that I always complete my work on time. I understand that in the software engineering world completing work on time, and sometimes before deadlines, is practically unheard of and will really throw customers off. In order to fix this problem that I have, I will try to add unneeded and unasked for features to my programs. The delays caused by adding these unnecessary features will surely make any program be completed way past the deadline.

Shoot! That's already 204 words, and I haven't even begun to explain that I chose UTA to be close to my boyfriend.

I guess I better go pay my tuition bill.

Point of View Exercise

2004-09-21T22:43:00.000-06:00

1. On March 3, 1991, a Metro bus stopped at the corner of New Street and 21st. The doors screeched open, and Peter Fletchly stepped onto the paved street. His eyes were weary from staring out the window of the bus for more than 6 hours. He blinked a few times and pulled his suitcase tightly in as a cold northern wind brushed over his face. He saw the plain, young women standing by the stop sign with her arms crossed. She stared at him harshly, wondering if this was the man she was waiting for. "I can do this," Peter thought.

2. The balding man sat straight up in his purple, cushioned seat as the bus crept along the wide city streets. He was thrown back and forth, bracing himself only with the armrests, as the driver navigated the sharp city turns. His small canvas suitcase was stuffed under the seat, and he periodically kicked it to make sure it was still there. Soon, the bus rolled to a stop and the man grabbed his belongings. He hastily walked down the aisle to the front of the bus. "Bye George, thanks for the ride," the man said. "Good luck, Peter," replied the bus driver.

3. The plain, young woman with long brown hair stood on the corner of New Street and 21st. She switched her weight from foot to foot and crossed and uncrossed her arms. She had been waiting for about 30 minutes when she saw a Metro bus emerging down the street. It turned the corner and began to slow down, coming to a complete stop at the corner. The doors screeched open and she heard a man's deep voice say something to the driver. Then, the man with the deep voice emerged like a bear out of a cave. "So you're my grandfather?" she said to him. Her eyes narrowed into little slits as she looked at her new guardian for the first time.

4. Every day at 5:00 I ride the Metro bus home from work. My coworkers often wonder why I do this when I could just drive myself home. I tell them, "It's for the economy." Today as I waited for the bus in the cultural district downtown there was a young girl waiting there with me, who I have never seen before. She looked very nervous and annoyed. As the 4:47 bus from Detroit arrived, I watched her as she followed the bus down the street. Her countenance became one of horror when it came to a stop. As the doors screeched open, a shabbily dressed man stepped off the bus. He looked around and hope sprang into his face when he saw the brown-haired girl.

5. I dunno when I first met Peter. I been bussin all my life and somehow he rode all my busses. Few weeks ago, he axed me to drive him to Cleveland to meet his gran'kid and I know he ain't got no money. He says he'll pay me back somehow but I know he ain't got nothin. I says of course cause he done a lot for me. I was drivin to Cleveland in two weeks. He was so excited. He kept huggin me and thankin me and talkin to me about the trip. When the time came, he sat straight up on the bus, never even readin or sleepin. I know he's thinkin about her. I wished him good luck on his way out. He's gonna need it.

45 for 45

2004-09-16T23:00:00.000-06:00

10 Adjectives that describe Mom
1. Beautiful
2. Funny
3. Intelligent
4. Hard-working
5. Unpredictable
6. Kind
7. Selfless
8. Fun
9. Educated
10. Spiritual

5 Qualities I got from Mom
1. My laugh
2. My sense of humor
3. My language skills
4. My hard-working nature
5. My people skills

5 CDs she listens to
1. Dave Matthews
2. Buena Vista Social Club
3. Rush Hour Spanish
4. Santana
5. Nilsson Schmilsson

5 Things she does that she doesn't know I like
1. Handles money well
2. Watches me pull out of the driveway when I leave
3. Gives money to charity
4. Helps me decide what to do with my life
5. Calls me "My Little Poopie"

10 Movies she owns
1. Pride and Prejudice
2. Age of Innocence
3. Last of the Mohicans
4. Singing in the Rain
5. Emma
6. Philadelphia Story
7. It's a Wonderful Life
8. Little Women
9. Analyze This
10. Casablanca

5 Things Mom likes
1. Shoes
2. Pajamas
3. Purses
4. Frogs
5. Mark Twain

5 Facts about Mom
1. Today is her birthday!
2. She owns a toad house.
3. She collects Currier and Ives dishes.
4. She has 2 children, 2 stepchildren, 1 stepchild in-law, 1 grandbaby.
5. Everyone loves her!

Happy Birthday Mom!! I love you so much!!!!

Scene From a Classroom

2004-09-16T09:41:00.000-06:00

(7:59 am, outside the science building)
Suzie: Shoot! I'm late for class.
(8:02, Suzie walks in the classroom, sees only 2 other students, professor not in sight)
Suzie: At least I'm not late.

(8:04, professor walks in)
Prof: Alright, take out paper and a pencil.
Suzie's stomach begins to throb at the thought of a pop quiz.
Suzie: Since 8 people are still not here, can those who were on time have a hint?
Prof: No.

(8:15, four questions later, Suzie sweating, still throbbing)
Suzie (to herself): I will not throw up. I will not throw up.

(8:17)
Suzie (to herself): If I ask a question about the quiz, maybe he will think I understand and subconsciously give me a better grade.
Suzie (outloud): When you say, "What is the difference between a JFET and MOSFET transistor?" do you mean physically or in functionality?
Prof: Uhh... put both.
Other students in class glare at Suzie.

(8:20, professor reveals answers, Suzie makes a 70, throbbing weakens)
Suzie (to herself, scribbling in the margins of her notes): If I make a C in this class, I can still keep up my GPA.
(Throbbing ceases.)

(8:23, Steve, the smartest guy in class, "takes notes" on his laptop)
Prof: You can make any circuit involving resistors and capacitors out of only transistors.
Steve: Is that like making logic circuits out of only NAND gates?
Professor leaves subject of transistors to tell the history of 1960s computers made only of NAND gates.
(8:29, Suzie watches Steve draw the 7 of hearts and move it onto the 8 of clubs)
Steve: How does that computer compare to my cell phone?
Professor talks about the implications of cell phones in today's society.

(8:37, Suzie gets antsy in her chair)
Suzie (to herself): I'll go to the bathroom at 8:40, just so I can get up.

(8:38:14, waiting)
(8:38:32, waiting)
(8:38:49, waiting)
(8:39:26, Suzie looks at watch)
(8:39:43, Suzie looks at watch again)
Prof: This will be on the test.
Suzie (to herself): Shoot! What did he just say?

(8:42, Suzie, still not in the bathroom, realizes she has no idea what professor is talking about)
(8:44, Suzie goes to the bathroom on the first floor, even though there is a bathroom down the hall from her classroom on the third floor)
(8:47, Suzie returns to class)
Suzie (to herself): That only took 3 minutes?

(8:48, Suzie yawns, accidentally makes eye contact with professor, quickly looks away)
(8:49, Suzie, determined to pay attention, copies down what professor says)
Professor: Turn to figure 3.23.
Suzie turns the page, realizes she is the only one with her textbook open.

(9:07)
Professor: The graph of this transistor is much like the graph of a claustrophobic monkey who has been trained to press a button in order to receive a banana.
Class stares blankly at professor.

(9:10, Steve moves the king of spades onto the top of the deck, wins his game of Solitaire)
(9:23, three minutes after class should be dismissed)
Professor: Great job in class today guys. And girls. Next time, we'll be discussing figures 3.36, 3.37, and 3.38. Flips a few pages. Oh yeah, and 3.40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48. See you Tuesday.

Suzie's throbbing resumes.

23 for 23

2004-09-14T00:00:00.000-06:00

23 Things I like About Josh – In no order

1. His presence soothes and relaxes me.
2. He desires to have a relationship with God.
3. He makes major life decisions with me in mind.
4. He's done things for years just because I want him to.
5. His hands are smooth and muscular. He keeps his nails clean and short. And his ears are clean too.
6. He doesn't cuss/smoke/do drugs.
7. He is dedicated to not drinking carbonated beverages. He doesn't drink coffee either.
8. We can talk about anything. He listens to me when I talk about things that don't interest him. I know how he'll react when I tell him bad things. I know how he'll react when I tell him good things. He can say things to me only using his eyes.
9. He makes me lunch. He makes me eat healthier than I would on my own. He lets me decide where to eat dinner.
10. He is smart. He found a way to make money from playing video games.
11. He is good with people. He remembers people's names and whispers them in my ear when they walk up. If he meets you once, he'll remember your name.
12. His family loves me.
13. We have secret codes for stuff that only we know about.
14. He makes up funny things for me to write/say/put in my away message. He lets me take the credit.
15. He waits at the doctor's office with me when I'm sick.
16. He makes Bear sing and dance.
17. He's grown up with me, and we have the same background.
18. He's committed to me.
19. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows how to calm me down when I cry. He knows the bad things about me. He knows my life goals. He knows what I'm scared of. He knows what's best for me.
20. He doesn't look at porn.
21. He supports me even when he doesn't like what I’m doing.
22. He loves his brothers. He cares about his family more than money.
23. He's my best friend. He calls me Sweet Pea.

Happy Birthday!!! I love you!

Views on Politics

2004-09-12T19:12:00.000-06:00

I am not a political person. I don't know if I am a democrat or a republican, nor do I care. I don't have any bumper stickers on my car saying, "Vote or Die," "Four More Years", or "Kerry On." When November 2 rolls around, I'm still not sure which candidate will get my vote. I struggle with the fact that since I live in Texas my vote really doesn't matter. Sure, it counts. But it doesn't make a difference. Texas will go to Bush regardless of what I do. Maybe that's why I'm not political.

But at 2:00am last night when I was hypnotically clicking the Next Blog button up top, I was surprised to see so many blog entries devoted to the upcoming election. Is this what blogging is about? Have I missed some unwritten rule about blogs? I better get on the bandwagon then.

I am writing this entry not to try to convince anyone that one candidate is better than the other. Bush and Kerry both have good and bad qualities, as political figures as well individuals. If I don't learn what those good and bad qualities are, I won't know what to expect when either of them wins. It is imperative to have some idea of what is going around you.

Even so, I'm not voting because the winner of the election is important; I'm voting because I am important. Neither Bush nor Kerry will ever know what issues are priorities to me but I am a person, and my opinions matter, if to nobody but myself. The act of voting is proof of my existence.

My Top Ten Issues

1. Homeland and National Security
Bush: 2 checks
Kerry: 0 checks

It is important for me to feel safe and protected. I want this from my future husband, my friends, my family, my community, and my country. Security is a basic and core need for every person. It is a sentiment rather than a testament. I can feel secure without a 100% guarantee that I am safe. Metal detectors and visa inspections are not the solution to insecurity although they help. In order for me to feel secure in my country, I need a President who I believe will stop at nothing in order to protect me.

I don't know what Kerry specifically plans on doing to make me feel more secure. I tried looking at his web page but it didn't say anything other than he will make this country more secure. I know what Bush will do. He'll stop at nothing, even if it means taking away some of my freedoms or discriminating against certain groups. I am aware of the negative consequences of those actions but I am willing to risk that in order to satisfy this basic need that I have.

Bush on Homeland Security

Kerry on Homeland Security

2. Health Care
Bush: 1 check
Kerry: 3 checks

I haven't begun to deal with health care insurance yet since I am still a legal dependent of my parents. However, that will change in less than a year. I know that I want to be able to choose my own doctor and go to specialists if needed so that I can get the best care that I can afford. I also want cost of prescription drugs lowered, the number of uninsured children reduced, and a national health care program introduced.

Bush says that he wants to help people be able to choose their own doctor and get more adequate care. (Does this mean he is against managed health care programs? I still don't know how all of this works.)

However, Kerry wants to implement that Patient’s Bill of Rights, and is interested in a universal health care program. He wants to make sure that all Americans, especially children, are insured.

Kerry also wants to make generic drugs more available and legalize imported drugs from Canada – both of which may increase competition and lower the prices of brand-name drugs.

Kerry gets some checks here because of the universal health care program and its potential to insure more people. It is OK with me if he raises taxes to cover me at the hospital (real emergency or not).

PBS.org Healthcare Comparison

PublicAgenda.org Healthcare Comparison

3. Job Creation
Bush: 0 checks
Kerry: 4 checks

I'm about to graduate, and one of my big concerns is how quickly I can get a job with good benefits. I am completely against outsourcing of jobs. Companies are outsourcing the computer programming jobs that I want to countries like India.

I don't think it was Bush's fault that 3 million jobs were lost in the first year of his presidency. I think we can owe that to terrorism. However, Kerry is the one who is saying he will bring those jobs back and more. It doesn't matter whose fault it is; the newly elected President must fix it.

Additionally, I doubt Bush's tax cuts of 2001 will get me a job like he says they will. His Jobs and Growth Act of 2003 that provides tax incentives to companies that expand their payroll might.

I wholehearted agree with Kerry's plan to eliminate tax breaks to companies who outsource jobs and to give additional breaks to those who hire domestically.

Kerry gets four checks.

PBS.org Job Comparison

4. Science and Technology
Bush: 2 checks
Kerry: 0 checks

Although I am a computer science major, I am very cautious concerning advances in science. I think cloning and altering genes and DNA is disturbing and will ultimately have negative consequences. Researching cures for diseases and stay up-to-date with advances in technology is important but I never want to determine my baby's sex or clone my dog. "Playing God" can’t be a good idea.

Bush seems to recognize the difference between what can be done and what should be done. He has demonstrated this by proceeding with great care concerning stem-cell research.

I don't know what Kerry's guiding philosophy is on science and technology. I know that he plans on continued funding for stem-cell research. Until I know, my checks in this category goes to Bush.

Bush on Stem-Cells

Kerry on Stem-Cells

5. Social Security
Bush: 3 checks
Kerry: 1 check

I believe that when I retire, I will not be able to live or rely on social security payments. I am for privatization of social security benefits so that I can independently save for the future. I think that I would be able to save much more money if put money into a private pension plan than with the government.

Although I agree with Kerry that the government should not risk the current social security surplus by investing it. Kerry's voting record shows he is completely against privatization.

Bush says that he is for privatization so he gets three checks.

PBS.org Social Security Comparison

6. War on Terror
Bush: 4 checks
Kerry: 1 check

Unfortunately, I believe we went after the wrong enemy. Our fight should be against the extremist al-Qaida jihad, not Iraq.

Kerry says he will complete the mission in Iraq and hopefully bring in the United Nation to help us. This seems like a good idea to show our enemies that the world backs us in this war. But once again, I don't really know specifically what Kerry will do. I know what Bush will do – fight. And that's what I want against terrorism.

Also, I don't want to switch Commander-in-Chiefs in the middle of a war. That might give the enemy an opening to attack. We began this war with Bush so he should finish it. If we elect a new leader, if would be a sign of disunity, and therefore, weakness.

7. Education
Bush: 1 check
Kerry: 2 checks

Bush created the No Child Left Behind act, which attempts to ensure that every child will graduate from high school. I think it's good in theory but overall too strict, and we just don't have the money to pay for the resources needed to bring it to fruition. We need something more realistic. Some children do not have the physical capabilities, like high enough IQs, to make it through high school. The act also puts undo pressure on teachers to help students succeed when some students are just not capable of performing on higher levels.

Kerry recognizes the flaws in the No Child Left Behind act and says that he wants to help recruit more teachers in order to improve education. Since I am considering teaching, this might be beneficial to me.

I don't have an opinion on the voucher issue, which helps parents send their kids to private school. I do think there are other issues more important than vouchers. Such as, how am I going to pay back my debts for college? Will my future kids be able to pay for college? Fortunately, both Kerry and Bush have specific plans to help higher education costs.

Bush on Education

Kerry on Education

8. Gay Marriage
Bush: 2 checks
Kerry: 1 check

Oh man, gay marriage. How do I write this without offending anyone?

I am against gay marriage, and I think practicing homosexuals are sinning. I don't know if homosexuality is a choice or something you are born with but I think to practice it is wrong. However, I do believe that all gay people are God's creation and have the same inalienable rights as everyone else. It's one of those "hate the sin, love the sinner" issues.

There's a difference between being tolerant of private behavior and endorsing that behavior. I don't want my future child to have a gay elementary school teacher but I do want to be tolerant of the person.

I go back and forth about supporting same-sex civil unions. Faithful and loving partners should be able to have the same legal benefits that married couples do. But where is the line between faithful and loving partners and relationships involving incest? People once considered homosexuality to be an unacceptable behavior. Will our views on incest or bestiality change too if we allow behavior to be a factor in our rights? We can't become a society like the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah where everything is acceptable. There has to be a limit somewhere on what our society accepts, in order to protect us from the consequences of sin.

Even though I think civil unions should be allowed, I don't want to start supporting inappropriate behaviors so that's why two checks in this category go to Bush.

I think Bush's attempt to amend the Constitution to define marriage was at best silly. The definition of marriage is not one of the foundations of our country.

PBS.org Gay Marriage Comparison

9. Environment
Bush: 1 check
Kerry: 2 checks

Saving our natural resources and finding more efficient fueling methods is important to me. I hear predications all the time about when we are going to run out of oil – anytime between 2025 and 2040. At least sometime in my lifetime.

I want to see funding for research of more fuel-efficient cars, whether hybrids, electric, solar power, whatever. I'd also like to see more tax breaks for people who buy fuel-efficient cars.

I tend to side with Bush over specific environment issues such as the Artic National Wildlife Reserve and the Kyoto global warming pact to cut greenhouse gas emissions. However Kerry's environmental philosophy seems better overall. Nature ultimately is more important than our economy (except when I am the one loosing money).

I'm definitely for Kerry's "Restore America’s Waters" campaign. We need to be sure we will never run out of clean drinking water.

Bush on Environment

Kerry on Environment

10. Other
Bush: 2 checks
Kerry: 0 checks

I do think Bush unintentionally misled the country about Iraq. His advisors probably misled him. But in the back of my mind I believe the war in Iraq was about oil first, weapons of mass destruction second. Whether he lied to us directly or by omission, I don't know.

Kerry has a poor voting record. He can talk all he wants but his actions show what he truly believes and will fight for. I don't think he has as strong convictions as Bush does.

If I were President, I would lower the national drinking age in order to reduce drinking. It would cause more problems for the first few years but ultimately things would calm down. Teenagers rebel by drinking, and they think it makes them cool. If 13 year olds were allowed to drink with their parents, alcohol wouldn't be such a problem at 18. I don't think either candidate is running on that issue.

Totals
Bush: 18 checks
Kerry: 14 checks

I guess I'll be voting for Bush.

Monitor Lighting

2004-09-11T12:07:00.000-06:00

Sometimes at night I turn off the ceiling light in my bedroom, and the blue haze of my computer monitor acts as the only source of illumination. The ocean scene on the background of my desktop layers the room with an azure hued tint. The white, pasty walls of my college apartment turn slate-gray, and they no longer are a sharp contrast to the ripped out calendar pages of European tourists traps that serve as art.

I take off my glasses, and my imagination struggles to match the blurred objects I see with what I wish was there. The dark sienna curvy shapes by the foot of my bed become two sleeping Himalayan rabbits. The dresser transforms into real oak, cherry colored. My makeshift wall art turns into framed impressionist masterpieces. My textbooks translate into novels.

I put my glasses back on and see my torn brown flip-flops in a heap by my bed. The red oak dresser now has a fake oak finish. A famous British author no longer wrote Numerical Methods, Second Edition.

But I keep the computer monitor turned on and the room lights off. My imagination takes me to under the deck on a sailboat; the azure-tinted waves pounding against the windows make the white cabin walls appear gray.

Open Letter to Mom

2004-09-09T18:16:00.000-06:00

Dear Mom,

This is your only daughter writing. The daughter that you formed, framed, and fashioned into almost a perfect likeness of yourself. Not only that, the daughter who willingly and eagerly wants to become more like you. I thought I had closely followed in your footsteps these 22 years, but I was mistaken. You have hidden something from me. I now question a part of you.

How in the world did you major in Electrical Engineering? Do you actually understand this stuff that I am reading about in my Instrumentation class? Can you decipher this sentence: “When biasing an emitter follower, for instance, you choose the base voltage divider resistors so that the divider presents a stiff voltage source to the base, i.e., their parallel impedance is much less than the impedance looking to the base” (1)? I don't think you can.

Don't get me wrong; it's not that I don't think you are smart enough to grasp EE. It's just that I've never seen you solder. You haven't tinkered around in the garage making feedback amplifiers. I don't think you even own an oscilloscope. Unless it is in our attic, in which case I doubt you climb up there to use it.

So, how is it possible that you devoted 4 years of your life to this subject, and yet, a visitor in our house would not see any evidence of it? Of course, evidence of other learned subjects is scattered about our house. On top of our coffee table lay quilt designs sketched on graph paper with fractions and equations in the margins. Possible math major? The paintings in our house illustrate scenes of the frontier and sledding through a Currier and Ives America. Maybe a history buff lives here. Consider the books we own. The One-Minute Manager. Who Moved My Cheese? What Color is Your Parachute? Face it, none of the books, paintings, movies, kitchen utensils, fabric swatches, or anything else we own suggest a higher level of knowledge about diodes and resistors.

All of this leads me to three possible conclusions.

1. You BSed your way to a B.S. (2). You didn't like EE, you didn't care to learn about it, and when the provost handed you your diploma, you promptly and purposely forget everything you learned.

2. You earned your degree through hard work, graduated, sold your textbooks to pay for concert tickets, let Uncle Joe borrow your soldering iron and function generator, and then you got a job that required little-to-no electrical engineering skill.

Or 3. You really are a crazy, robot-building electrical engineer. This stuff about you going to work every day is just to disguise your real occupation as mad scientist. Your secret lab is hidden away in our attic, and every day you turn on the oscilloscope to watch your robot-baby's heartbeat through the monitor (3). One day your robot-baby will destroy. destroy! Destroy! Until then, you will make quilts with GPS-enabled chips in the seams so you can track your prey.

If you really are living life #3, please take me with you as you begin to conquer. I don't want to go to my electronics class anymore.

I love you very much,
your daughter

(1) Horowitz, Paul and Winfield Hill. The Art of Electronics. Cambridge University Press. Cambridge: 2001. p 96.

(2) The closest I have come to cussing in a while.

(3) The heartbeat closely resembles a cosine (x^2) wave.

True Story?

2004-09-08T16:33:00.000-06:00

So I've started a blog. Last Thursday, when I was eager to, no, planning on typing 1000 words a day, I didn't really think about the purpose of my efforts. Instead of asking myself, “What information will the world have after reading this blog that they didn't have before?” I spent my time analyzing the colors of the templates and picking a suitable name. And now a week has passed, and I do not have 7000 words to show for it. On the contrary, I am working on word number 588. Well, the word “number” was 588. The word “588” was actually word 589. It’s still roughly 6,400 words less than my goal.

Back to the problem at hand, why anyone would want to read this blog. What could I write that would be worthwhile to other people, to humanity? Isn't that the question that haunts all writers? Maybe it only haunts those who write in order to be read by someone else. I have heard that someone out there, writers exist who write only for themselves. These writers have an innate story that dwells inside of them although they did not create it. This story burdens them, and they write only to expel the spirit the demon the vision the illusion. When the spirit-story passes from inside the realm of the body to the outside world of paper, the deadweight is gone and the writers are free from its grasp. Until the sequel.

I, unfortunately, have no such innate story inside of me. Not at this point in my life. But much like a young girl's thoughts of true love, maybe my “true story” is out there. Someday, it will come into my life and my knees will shake and my heart will flutter and I'll know, this is it! This is the one! This is the story that I have been chosen to tell. Until then, I'll wait. With this blog. More like this blahg.

Ok, so I have established, in my mind at least, that I am a writer who writes for other people. Well, not currently. I mean, right now I'm literally writing to nobody. But that doesn't matter. The point is, what can I write about? I know I don't want this blog to be my daily journal. No one cares to read about the lives of college students. I do homework, I hang out with Josh, I go to class, I eat, I sleep. That's it. That's my daily journal for the rest of the semester.

I don't think my bit about picking a random noun out of the nearest book will work because I'm not a yet cleverer enough writer to pull that off. Maybe people want to know what it is like to be a student at a conservative Christian school. Or about a 23-year old who will relatively soon be getting married. Maybe I could write about my views of technology and computers, since I am a computer science major. I could do "What I am Thinking About Today" only because that will force me to think about something, which I'm sure is more than many other college students do in the average 24-hours.

What I'm thinking about right now is that I'm just rambling. This blog has no purpose yet. I still haven't done anything that is worthwhile to other people. The one about buses was better than this. Don't worry. Someday, my true story will come.

On a Bus

2004-09-01T22:08:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone! My first post.

Today's theme: I'm going to open up the nearest book to me and write about the first noun that I see. Today's book: The Art of Electronics by Horowitz and Hill. Today's word: bus. As in bus interfacing.

Bus.... Buses... Bus interfacing... Busboys… City buses... Busses? Busi?

I remember riding on the yellow school bus to my middle school. Every morning at 8:15 I began the walk down my street, backpack on one shoulder, as was the trend in those days. I turned onto the busy road where at one intersection was a gas station and also my bus stop. While I shuffled down the main street, I often imagined that as the cars passed me, the occupants of those cars would stare at me through their rear-view mirrors. Sometimes I'd get scared and hurry my step to arrive at the safe refuge of the bus stop. I supposed that a stranger taking an interest in 12-year-old was a precursor to a stalking or kidnapping or some other heinous crime.

Every now and then, though, I imagined that the drivers and even passengers stared because they'd never seen anyone quite like me before. They would somehow see all of the qualities that I liked about myself, shining through my eyes and my hair and my gait. They'd see intelligence shoot out of the tips of my fingers and happiness steam from my sweat set off by the hot Texas morning. In reality, no one was staring at me. No one was planning on kidnapping me. And no one saw joy or innocent beauty radiating from inside me. The only thing in their rear-view mirrors was the back of the stop light behind them and the license plate of the blue pick-up truck on their tail.

My mom once told me the when boys mature, they end up having the same characteristics that they did in 6th grade. If they were jerks in 6th grade, they'll be jerks at 30. No matter how much they change during puberty and adolescence and their 20s, the cycle will eventually complete itself. If they were sweet in the 6th grade, they will be sweet as an adult. I think that's true for many people, girls and boys alike. Including me. The things that I did when I was 12, I do now.

I walk down the street, no longer to the bus stop but now to get exercise or fresh air. I once again imagine that people are staring at me. Is it because they want to rape me, or are they overcome by some elegance and grace that I possess? Do they know that I'm scared of them? Do they really think about me as I walk by? He just smiled at me. Is he checking me out? Does that girl know who I am? In reality, she doesn't. And he didn't smile. No one is looking at me. It’s not because people don’t care about me. It’s just that in the rear-view mirrors of their minds, they’re busy checking to see if anyone is staring at them.