Scene From a Classroom

(7:59 am, outside the science building)
Suzie: Shoot! I'm late for class.
(8:02, Suzie walks in the classroom, sees only 2 other students, professor not in sight)
Suzie: At least I'm not late.

(8:04, professor walks in)
Prof: Alright, take out paper and a pencil.
Suzie's stomach begins to throb at the thought of a pop quiz.
Suzie: Since 8 people are still not here, can those who were on time have a hint?
Prof: No.

(8:15, four questions later, Suzie sweating, still throbbing)
Suzie (to herself): I will not throw up. I will not throw up.

(8:17)
Suzie (to herself): If I ask a question about the quiz, maybe he will think I understand and subconsciously give me a better grade.
Suzie (outloud): When you say, "What is the difference between a JFET and MOSFET transistor?" do you mean physically or in functionality?
Prof: Uhh... put both.
Other students in class glare at Suzie.

(8:20, professor reveals answers, Suzie makes a 70, throbbing weakens)
Suzie (to herself, scribbling in the margins of her notes): If I make a C in this class, I can still keep up my GPA.
(Throbbing ceases.)

(8:23, Steve, the smartest guy in class, "takes notes" on his laptop)
Prof: You can make any circuit involving resistors and capacitors out of only transistors.
Steve: Is that like making logic circuits out of only NAND gates?
Professor leaves subject of transistors to tell the history of 1960s computers made only of NAND gates.
(8:29, Suzie watches Steve draw the 7 of hearts and move it onto the 8 of clubs)
Steve: How does that computer compare to my cell phone?
Professor talks about the implications of cell phones in today's society.

(8:37, Suzie gets antsy in her chair)
Suzie (to herself): I'll go to the bathroom at 8:40, just so I can get up.

(8:38:14, waiting)
(8:38:32, waiting)
(8:38:49, waiting)
(8:39:26, Suzie looks at watch)
(8:39:43, Suzie looks at watch again)
Prof: This will be on the test.
Suzie (to herself): Shoot! What did he just say?

(8:42, Suzie, still not in the bathroom, realizes she has no idea what professor is talking about)
(8:44, Suzie goes to the bathroom on the first floor, even though there is a bathroom down the hall from her classroom on the third floor)
(8:47, Suzie returns to class)
Suzie (to herself): That only took 3 minutes?

(8:48, Suzie yawns, accidentally makes eye contact with professor, quickly looks away)
(8:49, Suzie, determined to pay attention, copies down what professor says)
Professor: Turn to figure 3.23.
Suzie turns the page, realizes she is the only one with her textbook open.

(9:07)
Professor: The graph of this transistor is much like the graph of a claustrophobic monkey who has been trained to press a button in order to receive a banana.
Class stares blankly at professor.

(9:10, Steve moves the king of spades onto the top of the deck, wins his game of Solitaire)
(9:23, three minutes after class should be dismissed)
Professor: Great job in class today guys. And girls. Next time, we'll be discussing figures 3.36, 3.37, and 3.38. Flips a few pages. Oh yeah, and 3.40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48. See you Tuesday.

Suzie's throbbing resumes.