Scene From an Office

Tomorrow's the big day! I have a job interview! I got a call Wednesday about a job opening at the company that has always been my first-choice company to work with. I hear that some people, athletes perhaps, try to visualize themselves being successful at upcoming events. Somehow this will make them perform better when the actual time comes. I also hear that people can get dooced from their job because of what they write on their blog. Therefore, this may be the only reference to my employment that you will ever read. See? I've already started visualizing success at the interview.

Scene From an Office
Date: 1-28-05 (aka the future, aka upcoming event)
Time: 10:07 am
Location: Office building

(Suzie, sitting, wearing a brown suit, hands folded in her lap, waits patiently for interviewer to begin the interrogation. Interviewer, standing, hands behind back, not facing Suzie, staring out window on back wall of office, takes no notice that interviewee is waiting patiently.)

Suzie: "Ahem."
Interviewer: "Hello there."





(Awkward pause.)





Suzie: "It's nice to meet you, Mr. ..."
Interviewer: "Olaf."
Suzie: "Mr. Olaf."






(Awkward pause.)







Interviewer: "Shall we begin?"

Suzie: "Ok."

Interviewer: "Tell me, Sarah..."
Suzie: "Suzie."
Interviewer: "Whatever. I see that you graduated from Abilene Christian University. I have never heard of this school before."

Suzie (to herself): "Was that a question? Am I supposed to say something?"
Suzie (outloud): "Yes, I did. ACU is a small, private school with about 5,000 students. It focuses on undergraduate education. I graduated in December with a B.S. in Computer Science."

Interviewer: "Whatever. It also says here on your resume under languages that you know Java and C++. Will you please say something in Java* for me?"

Suzie (to herself): "What? Say something in Java?"
Suzie (outloud): "Java is actually a computer language that you program in, not a spoken language."










(Awkward pause.)





(Crickets chirp.)






Interviewer: "Well, that seems to be all the questions that I have. Goodbye, Stephanie."
Suzie: "Suzie. Thank you for your time."


This job is no match for me. And if anyone in the future ever reads this, please do not fire me! Assuming I get the job that is. Who knows.

Josh, feel better!!

* All credit to James for the Java joke